Mommy Issues
by Forfangirls
Summary: Sam looked at his phone; it read "2505 Chastain Meadows Pkwy. Marietta, GA. 6 pm tomorrow. Don't bring feathers. -Crowley" -or- The one where Crowley gets lonely and tricks the boys into -SPOILERS- a competitive game of monster-themed mini golf.


The boys were driving in the Impala towards a small town in Florida when their phones beeped. They looked at each other, wondering what was so important to warrant texting both of them.

Sam looked at his phone; it read "2505 Chastain Meadows Pkwy. Marietta, GA. 6 pm tomorrow. -Crowley"

Dean's phone beeped again, and Sam grabbed it and laughed.

"What now?" Dean asked.

"Crowley wants us to meet him somewhere in Marietta, Georgia tomorrow night. And he says 'Don't bring Feathers.'".

Dean rolled his eyes, "So do we go? I mean the guy's the King of Hell, he could've just zapped to us if he wanted to kill us."

Sam nodded, "Yeah, it's probably important. Maybe he's got information?"

"He'd just pop in all smug and tell us, what's with making us go to him?"

"It's probably just a power move," Sam shrugged, "I mean we have been calling the shots for a while and as you said- he is the King of Hell. Probably just needed to show us who's boss."

"Well I don't like it." said Dean definitively, "but I guess it'd be a good idea to humor him."

"Yeah, keep your friends close and everything."

* * *

The boys arrived in Marietta just before 5:30.

"You sure we can't just be a little late to see Crowley?" Dean whined.

"Dean, can you not think about your stomach for two seconds? We've been summoned by the-"

"King of Hell. Yeah, I know. But it's _Crowley_."

"Dude, if we expect him to be able to be strong enough to rule Hell we have to show him some respect. I mean the guy didn't climb the demon career ladder by luck."

"Yeah, I guess I just forget who he is because of the… and I hate saying this, working relationship we have with him."

"Believe me Dean; I hate it too."

Sam looked up the address Crowley sent them. The directions led them through a somewhat urban area, dimly lit by old street lamps. They turned into what seemed like a small shopping center, thinking they had to be at the wrong place.

"I hope Crowley picked a freaking pizza place…"

"Dean!"

The boys parked the car and walked towards the line of shops, holding onto the glimmer of hope they wouldn't find a room full of slaughtered people when they arrived. Demons have a tendency to do that when they want some privacy.

"Well, he's either in the kid's play complex or "Monster Mini Golf."" sighed Sam. The brother looked at each other and walked towards the mini golf building. As they walked to the door, Dean pulled out his white and silver revolver and Sam his demon blade. After another quick nod, the brother stormed in only to find a very concerned high school kid behind the counter.

He was wearing what was clearly a company uniform and a nametag that read "Gabe" and looking at the weapons with fear. Sam quickly put the knife away and motioned for Dean to do the same. Dean smiled at the kid and said, "Don't worry, we have to carry permits.".

The kid just nodded slightly and gestured to the glow in the dark course behind him, "Your boss is waiting for you."

"Our boss?" asked Dean incredulously.

"Yeah, uh, he said this was a business event or something? Told me to expect you two. Said he'd be waiting on the practice green."

Dean and Sam looked at each other and shrugged, _what was Crowley up to?_

They grabbed putters, and each picked glow in the dark balls in silence and walked over to the practice green.

"Squirrel! Moose! You made it; I was concerned you'd stood me up." Crowley said, not looking up from his golf ball. He swung his putter and sunk the ball into the small hole.

"What the hell Crowley?" said Dean, "What's with the mini golf?"

"And you're not our _boss_ ," Sam said tensely.

Crowley looked between the brothers and thought to himself for a moment, then sighed. He looked down at his putter sheepishly then back up. "Truth is boys; I couldn't take Rowena's nagging any longer so-"

"So you killed her?" guessed Sam.

"It's cool man; he never liked her anyway. She was bad news," said Dean, who then glanced at the ceiling wondering why he was trying to comfort the King of Hell.

"No! No, no I haven't killed the bitch. Yet, that is."

"Okay, so what is it then?" asked Dean.

Crowley reached down to pluck his golf ball from the hole, "She was getting on my nerves, so I sent some demon up to clear out the golf course and invited you two idiots because I was bored. It's no fun to play unless you have someone else to beat, and my demons always let me win. You two would be a challenge even if you're-"

"Hold up," said Dean, waving his hands in front of him. "You mean to tell me that you called us because your mother was driving you crazy and you needed company?"

"No, don't be ridiculous." said Crowley quietly.

"You're the King of Hell! You do what you want when you want, and you don't take orders from her."

"Well, what am I supposed to do?"

"Kick her out!" said Sam and Dean simultaneously.

"Hmm," Crowley thought to himself for a moment, "I'll consider it. In the meantime…" he held up the golf ball in his hand and shook it a bit. "I picked out this golf course just for you. Did you bozos even notice that it's monster themed?"

Sam and Dean looked around and considered the golf course in front of them. It was surprisingly large for an indoor course, and as Crowley said the whole thing was monster themed. Dean could see a cemetery section in one corner and some skeletons in the other. Creepy trees and glowing skulls added to the general theme.

"I figured it'd put you boys in your element. Not to mention the glow in the dark paint might remind you of a few motel rooms you've to stay in."

Sam glared at Crowley then turned to leave, but when he glanced at Dean, he just shrugged.

"Seriously Dean?"

"What? We have the whole course to ourselves, and it's kind of cool. Not like we could afford this one our own."

"We have a case!"

"Yeah, which we can't even start until tomorrow."

"Fine." said Sam bitterly, "On one condition."

Crowley considered this, then nodded "I was the King of the Crossroads for a reason, so name your terms."

Sam smiled, "If one of us wins, you're paying for dinner afterward."

Crowley countered, "If Dean wins-"

"Deal!" said Dean mischievously.

Dean walked over to the first hole, then turned back though and said, "This don't make us friends. If you start being more trouble than you're worth-"

"You'll kill me. I know. Love you too."

* * *

LATER

"How much pie can you eat, Squirrel? What are you stuffing some in your cheeks for winter?"

"I can eat as much as I want, you're buying!"

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTES:**

So this whole idea came to me when I was playing mini golf with my family at some random place at the beach, and it REEKED of sulfur. I mean it was so bad that the 3rd apocalypse could've started there! XD Anyway, I texted my fellow Supernatural fan to tell her, and we kept theorizing how to explain the sulfur smell. Obviously, the top two were it was a gate to hell (we imagined demons climbing out of the pond or smoke coming through the holes and scaring the sh*t out of people) OR the course got a visit from the King himself. And since obviously Crowley couldn't play alone and we know Dean and Sam used to play mini golf when they were on the road, we came up with the idea for this fic and my friend told me I should write it out. Hope y'all found the idea as entertaining as we did!

PS. Yes, Monster Mini Golf is a real place. I found it on google under "Monster or Hell Themed Mini Golf" because obviously, Crowley wouldn't be so basic as to pick just any miniature golf course! LOL


End file.
